Freedom

Recently I watched a film which inspired me : Invictus. It's based on a true story on Nelson Mandela's life following his release from a 30-year sentence in prison. After his release Nelson Mandela was elected as President of South Africa.

The whole film was about freedom, especially freedom of the heart and soul.

During his long journey in prison he discovered the poem "Invictus", which gave him strength throughout the years he was convicted.

Invictus was written back in 1875 by William Ernest Henley. At the age of 12 Henley became a victim of tubercolosis of the bone. A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to ampute directly below the knee. He wrote the poem from a hospital bed.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,

I have not winced or cried aloud,

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,

Looms but the Horror of the Shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishment the scroll,

I am the master of my faith,

I am the captain of my soul.

In my opinion that is what freedom is all about...it's about being strong enough to live the way you want to live; to believe in situations that can materilaise, which everyone else call dreams; to understand that you don't have necessarily to be like anyone else to be right; to feel good in your skin irrespective of what others think of you; to follow your heart wherever it takes you, never letting go, remembering that you alone have the ability to mould your faith in whatever form you desire.

All this might sound too good to be true, but truth is always good. From my own experience I know that are too many constructed sterotypes and typical lifestyles which all fit me too tight. I used to be a stereo-type, used to live one of those typical lifestyles where everything seems perfect and the way it should be. Having graduated as an accountant, raised in a good family, a loving and supportive partner, a great job, what else could I need more?? I had it all...or that was what I convinced myself to believe. Once I realised that I was not living the way I wanted to, once I decided to stop living the life I had been leading for 28 years, I gained my freedom....not without paying a high price.

Deciding to swim against the current, to have ideas which are different from most of the conservative ideas we are used to in our small island, is not an easy life. Gaining my freedom meant hurting people I loved, it meant having to bear judgemnts coming from people who did not even know me. I had to start all over again learning new things every day. The pain was there for quite a while, but the reward was so much worth it.

Today, when I look back at the past, I see a person who has gone through a journey to re-discover herself, or rather, to start discovering herself. It's a beautiful journey, one which will never end.

Freedom was my muse back then, and it's still is today.