The Proposal

On the 10th of April 2011 I received...and accepted...the most important proposal of my life...Yakof asked me to marry him!!! It was all so unexpected that, looking back, sometimes I wonder if it ever happened, until I look at my gorgeous reminder - THE ring.

I had just parked my car in front of the main door, having just spent the morning at the fair Me am Chic for book signing. I called Yakof to get downstairs so we could have lunch somewhere in the sun as it was a beautiful day, and was quite pissed off when he asked me to go up, especially given the lift was not working!!

I did not see him as soon as I opened the door as his face was covered with a huge box - he announced it was our anniversary gift (oopss I did not get him anything) :)

I was overwhelmed with joy when I started opening the box and realised he had bought me a Moncici - he had remembered how much I loved the one I had when I was little. Half way through getting the monkey out I realised there was something hanging from its hand and as soon as I saw the first word "Marry" I realised what this was all about.

I turned around to see Yakof holding a small red box with THE ring...his hands were trembling and his eyes full of expectations. I could barely breathe let alone talk when suddenly I realised he was expecting my answer...which was undoubtley YES.

In our relationship marriage had never been a priority as we were content being together and sharing our lives...the only nice plus it will give us that we can call each other husband and wife, as we already felt that towards each other.

As regards to the wedding date...that's still a question mark :)

100 Women 100 Stories - A Journey Through Words

8th March 2011. Women's day celebrated it's 100th anniversary with events held in more than one hundred countries. On the day I was standing at The George Hotel in Paceville, amongst another ninety-nine women, expecting the start of the press conference which would launch my book.

It was the day which would mark the end of a special journey, an unrivaled experience which will never be erased from my mind and my heart.

Everything started on March 8, 2010 during the Women's Day Lunch organised every year by Mr. Vassallo, Chairman of CareMalta Group and CEO of Vassallo Builders. During her speech, Natalie Briffa Farrugia, CareMalta's CEO, mentioned that 2011 would be marking a centenary from the first celebrations of Women's Day. Her wish was to be able to commemorate this day with something special, like the collection of 100 stories from women who resided in CareMalta's facilities. Her eyes had a special spark, reflecting the wish for a dream to become true. She looked over in my direction and a smile curved her lips - could it be I was getting the right message here?!

Natalie was aware that I had started a journalism course and had a passion for writing and deep inside, hoped that I would catch this challenge - and I did! A couple of weeks later she asked me whether I would wish to embark in this new adventure and I accepted whole heartedly.

I started interviews in June 2010 and carried on till the end of the year. I met 100 incredible women, women who warmly welcomed me as if I was a member of their family. It was fascinating to hear their stories and an honor for me to have them sharing their lives. I was given a key that opened a door to a whole different world, completely different to what we have today, but yet so real.

These women are an inspiration - they dedicated their lives to one common cause - loving their families. They all went through very difficult times : war - famine - poverty - lack of opportunities - sickness...yet they all made it, in some way or another, never loosing themselves along the way.

Holding my book for the first time had an overwhelming feeling over me - I could not believe that I had managed to realise another one of my greatest dreams, even now I have tears running down my face when I recall it. I have to thank my CEO for trusting me with this project as well as all the women who made this book an amazing one. Needless to say, Yakof walked all the way with me, constantly encouraging me.

The press conference went smoothly, I was impressed by all the praise the book was being given. Now that it's over I feel a sense of accomplishment and yet, I do miss those women as, every time I walked out of their rooms, I felt a complete sense of peace. I learned a lot from their experiences and hope that, those who read the book, will appreciate and be inspired by them.

Feature on The Times of Malta

http://www.timesofmalta.com.mt/articles/view/20110309/local/stories-of-ordinary-women-who-lived-extraordinary-lives

Feature on Business Weekly

http://www.maltabusinessweekly.com.mt//news.asp?newsitemid=10799

My book published!

It's becoming real...my first book will be published soon!! I still can't get a grip with the fact that it's really happening, this wonderful adventure will soon reap its fruit.

Honestly, I never dared to dream of having a book published...it surely is every writer's goal. When I started my journalism course with the London School of Journalism I did it with the aim of writing travel features. Not in a million year would I have guessed that my first feature would be on Panick Attacks and that, soon after, a book was going to follow. I am so grateful to the people who believed in my and gave me these opportunities.

The launching day of the book will be on the 8th of March 2011. 100 women have shared their stories with me and these stories will be published for the celebration of International Women's Day centenary.

I just felt the need to write this post...my next will be a detailed description of how things happened.

Change of views

It's funny sometimes how you end up taking decisions which are the complete opposite of what you had vowed yourself not to do!

This was my case when I decided, together with Yakof, to buy a house. I had gone through this ordeal some years back and the memory of the exhilaration I felt when I was free from all debts is still very fresh in my mind. I promised myself not to fall again in this trap as the feeling of living day by day, doing impulsive decisions, like going for a couple of days abroad, without worrying that you have a mortgage to pay, was priceless.

Irrespective of all this I did, once again, fall into the trap!

Well I guess in some ways I have to be proud of myself as this decision has meant that I have conquered my fears, which were turning out to be quite exhaustive. I had numerous arguments against not buying a property ranging from loss of freedom to being materialistic and so on.

All these arguments melted off when I stepped in my home. I never thought I would find the ideal place, as much as I had never thought of finding the ideal man. I should have known better, given I did find the ideal man around four years ago.

Four months down the line from that decision I still have no regrets. Mind you it's one hell of a job to juggle between decorating a house, paying the loan and all the bills and in the meantime still saving for travelling. Somehow I am managing, probably because I really want to make everything work out fine and maybe because I am a sucker for challenges. At the end of the day things really work out the way you want them to be, I do believe my will power is strong enough to make things happen.

It's quite late now, nearly one o'clock in the morning but it's now that my muse triggered after having booked my second flight for this year and having taken a look at my bank accounts!

Just to catch up

It's been a while since I have published my last post, sometimes I just get absorbed in the routine of things and miss out on doing what I love most. My problem might be the fact that I try to do as many things as I possible can and fitting everything is not always an easy task. It's similar to when you are a size 1o and start dieting. You buy a pair of jeans size 8 to boost you in your project and, one week after setting off, you try the trousers on, obviously totally failing in putting them on!

Projects need time to be carried out, and patience. I was always against the idea of 'not having time' to do something. Time is relative, and if we really want to do something we make time for it. So that has been my quest for the past months.

I was doing an online journalism course which I had to halt for a little while as I got another project on hand, have done a starting course in photography for which I won an award for Best Assignment, did an introduction to chinese language, working voluntary as Honorary Treasurer and PRO of the Malta Photographic Society, and just finished doing interviews and in the process of writing a book, and in between all this I have a full time job and try to have a personal life. This gives a better picture why it's been so long since I have last posted something on this blog!

This last part I have just updated now when it had been written way back this summer. But thought I might as well post it before starting something fresh :)

The point is that I love every single thing that I am doing, at the same time aware that I have quite a lot of things going on...I feel I have set on a roller coaster!

Caring for an accountant

I'm an accountant...what job can be more boring! Looking back I cannot remember what made me decide to follow this route, I guess it was my ambition, my secret wish to become a career woman and to be in management. I always saw accounting as a good means to slowly infiltrate myself into management. Well I could say that my wish came true, as in the eleven years I worked in accounting, I reached managerial levels in leading companies.

I was thirsty to be a high achiever so imagine my ecstasy when, at twenty-three, I became one of the youngest managers on the island. I really thought I had it all...I felt fulfilled and worked my soul out in order to achieve my goals. My last job was that of a General Manager (well I was more of a factotum as I did a million and one things). This job changed my life in many ways, through the exhausting daily routine, through the people I met and through the experiences I lived. One thing which I learned from this job...how much I was missing out on life and how much dedicating your life to work does not really pay you back! Being a workaholic I used to enjoy working long hours and forgot all about my personal life, until the point where it seized to exist.

Luckily for me, I have learnt from all the mistakes I have done. I am not saying that it's a mistake to love your job and I am not saying that it's a mistake to spend long hours doing your job if it gives you happiness...I'm only saying that there has to be something wrong if you would rather spend time at work than be with your loved ones or enjoying some time for yourself.

Coming back from my travels was a sad experience. It was already uncomfortable enough that I was totally penniless without thinking that I had to get back to a job which, after the eighteen months experience I had just gone through, was not going to give me any emotions at all.

I wished I could get a job where I helped people in some way or another,but I knew it would be impossible. Little did I know that what I thought impossible at the time was going to materialize.

An advert on a newspaper, Yakof's encouragement to apply for the post, a call the week after, two consecutive interviews, and the job was mine. I could not beleive it. I was engaged as a Facility Manager in a Home for the Elderly. It was perfect. I was in management, something I love; I would not be working as an accountant, something I was dreading; and I could help people : the winning combination.

Eight months down the line I can say that finally I know the true meaning of job satisfaction. It's not about working successfully to a deadline, winning a tender, creating a good management information system or giving good advice to a company's directors. It's about receiving a smile from a person; it's about seeing people enjoying themselves during activities you organise for them; it's receiving a thank you for just caring; it's having your heart warmed up when you receive a thank you note from relatives who appreciate the care being given to their loved ones.

I have never experienced something this nice in my previous jobs, the human element is as tiring as it can be awesome.

It's not always easy to deal with a considerable amount of elderly people but it is also very rewarding at the same time. Working with others for others is the best thing a person can experience...at least for me...it's the best!

Freedom

Recently I watched a film which inspired me : Invictus. It's based on a true story on Nelson Mandela's life following his release from a 30-year sentence in prison. After his release Nelson Mandela was elected as President of South Africa.

The whole film was about freedom, especially freedom of the heart and soul.

During his long journey in prison he discovered the poem "Invictus", which gave him strength throughout the years he was convicted.

Invictus was written back in 1875 by William Ernest Henley. At the age of 12 Henley became a victim of tubercolosis of the bone. A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to ampute directly below the knee. He wrote the poem from a hospital bed.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,

I have not winced or cried aloud,

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,

Looms but the Horror of the Shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishment the scroll,

I am the master of my faith,

I am the captain of my soul.

In my opinion that is what freedom is all about...it's about being strong enough to live the way you want to live; to believe in situations that can materilaise, which everyone else call dreams; to understand that you don't have necessarily to be like anyone else to be right; to feel good in your skin irrespective of what others think of you; to follow your heart wherever it takes you, never letting go, remembering that you alone have the ability to mould your faith in whatever form you desire.

All this might sound too good to be true, but truth is always good. From my own experience I know that are too many constructed sterotypes and typical lifestyles which all fit me too tight. I used to be a stereo-type, used to live one of those typical lifestyles where everything seems perfect and the way it should be. Having graduated as an accountant, raised in a good family, a loving and supportive partner, a great job, what else could I need more?? I had it all...or that was what I convinced myself to believe. Once I realised that I was not living the way I wanted to, once I decided to stop living the life I had been leading for 28 years, I gained my freedom....not without paying a high price.

Deciding to swim against the current, to have ideas which are different from most of the conservative ideas we are used to in our small island, is not an easy life. Gaining my freedom meant hurting people I loved, it meant having to bear judgemnts coming from people who did not even know me. I had to start all over again learning new things every day. The pain was there for quite a while, but the reward was so much worth it.

Today, when I look back at the past, I see a person who has gone through a journey to re-discover herself, or rather, to start discovering herself. It's a beautiful journey, one which will never end.

Freedom was my muse back then, and it's still is today.